I put the hate in hatred!(not like I’ll hit you type of hate, just the good kind)

              

             As you will probably find out very soon*, I get easily irritated by a lot of normal, common and human things. May range from purple crayons, leather belts and paper bags to ways of breathing, you know, things of that nature. I don’t really know w.w.w.² it all started but I’ve become a real professional at it. See me as the Tiger Woods of getting irritated by random crap. Which reminds me, I should introduce you to my S.H.I.T.(Super Hate In Textform) S.H.I.T. is a never ending list I’ve cooked up, of ambiguous trivialities that twist my panties**  up in a bunch. You and your loved ones will love my S.H.I.T. and even lose 3 to 4 inches of body fat.***  I won’t lie to you, my S.H.I.T. will not always be good. You’ll never see me acting like I think my S.H.I.T. don’t stink, but hey, let me see your S.H.I.T. You might find yourself asking yourself***, is this S.H.I.T. for real?, because I’ve seen other S.H.I.T. before and wasn’t impressed. Well my good sir, need look no further. I have a lot of good S.H.I.T. for you in store. Isn’t it funny that you can say any foul word as long as you make each letter mean something remotely  coherent? Going off on far away tangents, another gracefully useless quality I possess.**** I hope I’ve seduced you into a breathtakingly riotous***** second date. Stay tuned for some astonishingly arbitrary but endearing S.H.I.T.

*Subject to continuance of readancitivity level of reader. Yes, this word exists, Google it. Well, you don’t really have to if you don’t want to.

²When, why and/or where. Duh! OMG YFR!

**I don’t really wear panties. Why would I?,  even though they’re soft and comfortable

***Results may vary. Not FDA approved.

****Again, subject to continuance of rea…OK! you got me all right!, that word doesn’t exist! You happy now?!

*****Write hilarious comment on line:_____________________________

******Ha! This one DOES exist! Google it, I dare you. I’ll challenge you to a duel if necessary.

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