I have cramps:A short story about living in a studio apartment

What is a studio apartment? It’s basically your current living quarters but with a toilet. Cleaning is a breeze, until it actually happens. Since you have so little space you just say: “I’ll clean up tomorrow”. Funny thing about tomorrow, you know the word tomorrow comes from the Latin expression “six months from now”, depending on the weather and your current time zone.  You really don’t have to decorate much, a clock here, a mirror there and a Michael Bolton poster on the wall and your well on your way to living a secluded life in your $650 a month palace. But not all is peaches and cream for all those studio heads, crises may strike. When you lose something and spend more than 10 minutes looking for it, things will happen to you. First off, you start thinking to yourself, how the hell did I lose something in a place so small? Am I getting old? Am I losing my memory? From that you move on to deeper waters. You start freaking out. Holy shit, I really can’t find it! I really must be losing my mind! The jump to the next phase is a quick one. You start getting paranoid. I’m losing my memory, that means there’s something wrong with my brain.  I have a tumor! Shit, fuck, shit, shit I’m dying! You start calling your doctor friends but they don’t answer. You leave messages on their machine like dude I lost my fucking phone and I’ve been looking for it for about 2 hours now, am I losing part o f my brain or something? Well anyways call me back if you know what’s wrong. OK. Bye. Sh. beep!

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Filed under comedy, entertainment, Funnylacious, humor, random, satire, Uncategorized

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